The Crash Landing
by randomfics
Summary: Master Chief crash landed in Blood Gulch Canyon on his way to Earth. There he meets the Reds and the Blues, and being forced to travel with them and all of their moronic behavior, he really has to wonder if meeting them was more of a hinderance then help.
1. Chapter 1

Bam! Bam! Bam! The sounds of firing guns echoed loudly within the ship as the sound of screams echoed along the corridors. The single man clutched the rifle to his chest, not quiet believing what was happening- he had been warned, but that was completely different from what they were facing.

"Master Chief! What do we do?"

The Spartan head turned to look at the marine clutching his rifle. The man had a particularly panicked look behind his helmet-

BAM! The question was left unanswered as an unlucky shot of plasma ripped through the young marines head, leaving behind an empty, gaping hole. Master Chief didn't freeze as he aimed and fired, killing the grunt. He needed to find the leader, so that way the Grunts would all simply run off. Where was the elite-

The ship shuddered unexpectedly, and the man froze as the scream of tortured, twisting metal assaulted his ears. "That can't be good-

The ships shaking grew more violent. _Crap, I bet we're falling onto a planet-_

Brutes began backing up; looking fearfully at each other as Master Chief rose out from behind the boxes he was hiding behind. There were a few that turned to flee, before the ship swung to one side, sending all off-balanced. Beyond the hallway master Chief could hear the swearing and cursing of several different Marines, still alive through some small miracle.

"Master Chief! We're not doing so well, the Grunts destroyed a couple of the controls and oh CRAP!" Screams echoed along the hallway, and the sound of meaty chunks of flesh hitting against the wall.

Master Chief checked his gun, checking to see how many bullets were left, before grabbing the dead marines gun, leaving behind his nearly empty one. He placed one hand against the wall for support, before taking a deep breath, and silently charging the grunts.

The grunts parted like the proverbial Red Sea, scrambling to get out of his way as they attempted desperately to find someone in command, or simply get out of the way of the 'Demon'.

Footsteps pounded along the hallway, and as Master Chief passed by a window, his eyes darted out to the planet they were beginning to undoubtedly crash into. He was uncertain which planet this was, but there was a box canyon below him. He could see two bases, identical to each other as far as he could.

He could've sworn he saw a flash of red- but that was insane, wasn't it? He had heard about the 'Red and Blue' simulation war, but that was over now. Correct? And why would someone build two bases in a box canyon?

The ship, pointedly, shuddered again. Master Chief shook his head, reminding himself now wasn't the time to sit there and think of nothing while there still might be a few marines left-

Master Chief could've sworn he saw the flash of another ship, right below him, before he had hurried on. It was doubly silly of course. If there was a ship right below him, why hadn't they moved?

He was thinking too much. With a firm mouth, Master Chief moved his seven-foot bulk down the hallway with surprising agility to the grunts. One of the grunts peeked out the window a moment later, and gasped. A fellow grunt looked out the window, and fainted, just as the sound of two ships crashing echoed loudly down the hallway to the stunned Master Chief.

It seemed like today was his day to be completely wrong.

0o0o0o0o0

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY KID! YOU KILLED MY KID!" The Aqua armored soldiered screamed at the maniacally chuckling Red armored man. "WE WERE JUST BEGINNING TO BOND!"

"Shut up Tucker! It wasn't your kid, because you were never pregnant, and he just killed Tex!"

"BUT CHURCH! THAT WAS MY KID!"

"Tucker, I swear, if you don't cut it out with the crying, sobbing, and the caps lock, I will kill you now!" The hapless blue clad man roared.

The orange armored man looked down, complaining, "Where was the boom? What happened to the boo-"

KABOM! The head jerked up again, "Aww, I missed it! Can we do that again?"

The red man cackled maniacally again. "Too late Grif. Simmons, prep up the Warthog, we're getting out of here-"

"Of course sir! I'll do it immediately!"

"Suck up." Grif muttered under his breath as he kicked at a small rock. He debated taking off his helmet and having a smoke for a moment, before remembering that they were all out of cigarettes. "Aww man, no cigarettes, the ho-ho's are all gone… why won't anything go right today?"

"Yes, why won't anything go right indeed?" Came back the angry mutter, "Your Sarge just killed Tex!"

"Hey, don't look at me, Sarge has been trying to kill me for years!"

Grif sighed as the Warhog pulled up, Simmons sitting in the drivers seat. "Grif, get in! Unless you'd rather walk- never mind, Simmons, let's get going! We'll leave behind Grif and Donut to deal with the Reds. Let's go!"

"Um, sir. I don't think Donut is accompanying us anyways."

"WHAT?"

Simmons pointed to where the pink clad Donut and the bright blue man stood, chatting together amenably. Tucker continued screaming about his kid in the background, before Church at last turned around and began shooting, the shadow-

"Wait, why is there a shadow? There hasn't been a shadow like this in years-"

The yellow clad woman pointed up. "Wow, look at that brother! It looks like two ships have crashed into each other and are falling towards us-"

Grif suddenly rediscovered several things. He could in fact move fast, he could still run, and that he was actually stronger theen he looked. With a speed that stunned everyone around him, he grabbed his sister, threw her in the Warthog, and shoved Simmons out of the way to step on the gas pedal himself.

There was only time for screams, before the warthog was zooming off. Church gaped up at it for a few moments more, before leaving off shooting at Tucker and starting to run for safety. "Donut! Caboose! LOOK OUT!" He roared.

The two men didn't hear him, as Caboose sniffled, "I want orange juice. And cookies."

"I have some cookies back in base. You want to share?"

"Really, you mean it?"

"Of course."

"But mama always said that I shouldn't go anywhere with strangers." Caboose stared up at Donut with huge big puppy eyes- Donut could see it even behind the visor.

"Don't worry about it, really! I'm not a stranger anyways. Remember, we fought against O'Malley together-"

"O'Malley? I remember him. He wasn't so nice." The last sentence was said in a loud whisper, as if the A.I. were somewhere close enough to hear.

"CABOOSE! DONUT! MOVE!" Church whipped out his Sniper rifle, and began firing. Instinctively the two men cowered together, knowing they'd be safe staying where they were rather then attempting to run away. "CAN'T YOU SEE ABOVE YOU?"

"Of course not." Caboose said slowly, as if talking to someone stupid. "If I could see above me, I'd be a fly. Or an insect. And since I am human, I cannot see above me. Or wait… am I human?"

Caboose turned to look at Donut, whose head had tilted back to look at the sky, and the two big ships blocking the usually cloudless blue sky. His mind, too frozen to actually register what was going on, rerouted itself to the plan Sarge ordered him to do.

He threw his arms up in the air, and began running around in circles, screaming like a little girl. "Donut, run this way!"

Donut paid no attention to the exasperated shout, as his shrieks completely blocked out all sound.

WHOOMPH! The ships landed with a loud, careening crash, right over both Donut and Caboose. Simmons sighed. "I suppose someone will have to go into the underground caves and retrieve the two."

"I say Grif should go. Maybe the same people who attacked him last time will attack him again, and he'll finally be killed."

"Sarge, really, I think maybe I should go. After all, knowing Grif he's likely to just lay back and sleep while waiting for them to come to him…" Simmons instantly intervened. Grif made a rude gesture, as his sisters' voice came from the back.

"Brother, I didn't know you could still pick me up! You said you'd never pick me up again after the whole Cheerleading incident where I was like so totally-" Sister blathered on, as Simmons began to trudge away to retrieve Donut and Caboose.

The sound of tapping from the ships made those on either side freeze in surprise however. "What the H-"

Churchs voice drifting over the separating hunk of metal was interrupted by Sarges, "Dibs!"

"No! Darnit! Crap, I forgot about the Dibs system for a moment! Argh, Tucker, if your kid is in there, I'm killing i-"

There was a few choice curse words propelled across the empty air as a 'Bow-chika-honk-honk' and the sounds of a happily crying Tucker reached Red Teams ears. "So, does that mean Andy didn't go off?"

"Church! Church! I swear Church, I will kill you for installing that bomb on this ship!" The woman's enraged scream, followed shortly by O'Malley's voice.

"Who was the idiot driving the ship? Didn't he realize that I was signaling for him to turn! Computer, tell me who's supposed to be in that ship."

The Reds slowly circled around the ship to find Church nearly being strangled by a black-armored woman, as Tucker hugged Junior close.

In the background they could see a confused looking purple armored man. "O'Malley, why don't you get into Doc for a moment while me and Tex talk-" Church managed to strangle out.

O'Malley snorted in Tex's voice. "And why would I want to do that?"

"We're going to be talking about some relationship stuff-"

There was a burst of static, before Docs voice drifted across the comm. links within. "Hey, O'Malley, you're back! Thank goodness, my head felt so empty without you-"

"Shut up you fool! Now, I want to know what happened to my ship! Lopez! Lopez!"

"Si Senor?" Came back the reluctant voice of the robot.

"I want a new robot army built that can conquer these fools in an hour. And no mistakes this time!"

"No era mi avería. Usted era el quién dijo que él deseó un "día" de la victoria, no una "hora" de la Victoria." (Translation: It's not my fault. You said you wanted a 'day' of victory, not an 'hour' of victory.)

"It's Ok Lopez, I'm sure that it was a learning experience for all." Doc said happily only to have O'Malley begin shrieking at him.

Tex glowered at Chruch, finally leaving off strangling him. "Alright Church, why didn't you let us go, and why did you put this stupid bomb-" She aimed at kick at the thing, receiving a protest in return "-in Sheila?"

Sheila's voice penetrated the air, "Lopez, Lopez, are you alright?"

Sarge groaned. "Was it too much to ask that you brought along _something_ to kill with you?"

The door hatch opened, and all turned to look at the massive horde of odd-looking _things_ that spilled out of the hatch. The things stopped, looking at them, before looking behind them, obviously trying to decide which was safer, being inside or being outside.

At last they decided inside was safer, and made a mad dash for it. The sound of a gun shooting drifted out, and Church shook off his stunned gaze. "C'mon, we gotta kill these things! No telling what they are!"

"Grif! Get your butt over here and start protecting me from plasma bursts! Simmons, suck-up at will!"

"Yes sir! You always have excellent plans Sir!"

"Good- Donut- Oh crud, I forgot. Donut's squashed. Oh well, Doc! I need you do me a favor and run around in circles screaming like a girl for me!"

"Why, certainly Sarge! Here O'Malley, help me out! One, two-"

O'Malley screeched, "No you fool! Can't you see that you'll just embarrass yourself?"

Doc ignored the negative comment as he threw his head back and let out a girly scream that would've made Donut go green in envy. "Alright now, Charge!"

"WAIT!" Church screamed, before it was too late. Sarge had gone charging in, all guns blazing and firing away like crazy.

Grif instantly began trying to sneak away, along with Tucker, before a black clad woman stepped into their line of sight, holding a rifle, coolly pointed at them. "Alright you lot, get moving."

Tucker and Grif both groaned as one, before turning around, unslinging their weapons to point it at the scary ship. Tucker hastily tried to come up with an excuse. "Hey, Tex, I just remembered, I have a phone call I have to make-"

"Haha, very funny. Keep moving. You're eight hundred years in the future. Don't try to fool me."

"Alright then, I only have one thing left to say." Tucker took a deep breath, looking down at Junior.

They both spoke as one.

"Bow-chicka-bow-wow!"

The ricochet of bullets followed the green armored man into the ship.

* * *

_a/n: Yeah, this takes place shortly before Halo 3, so no Cortena, and in the RvB verse, this takes place shortly before Reconstruction. No, no cursing. I don't do cursing. Sorry to all those who like cursing, and think it's an integral part (it is, but I just don't do cursing). _


	2. Chapter 2

Grif strolled along the corridors casually, listening to the Blue team chatter behind him as he followed the trail of bullets leading straight to Sarges position. Either his position or Texs' position as she attempted to kill Tucker.

Junior was hungrily giving out little cheeps and moans. The orange armored man refused to be tricked however. He had seen Caboose after the last time, nad had no wish to give up a gallon of _his_ blood.

Simmons voice drifted back, cursing, as the rat-tat-tat of what sounded like the Warthogs gun went off. _Either Sarge found a machine gun and we are now all doomed, Simmons actually managed to fit the Warthog down this corridor, or Sarge has found two guns he likes and is currently going ballistic._

Grif silently hoped it was the second one. Sarge with a machine gun, or even Sarge with two guns would mean his death. At least he had the sniper rifle however. "Oy, don't you want to hurry it up some more?"

"So that way Sarge can plan some new way to be killed? No thanks." Grif snorted slightly bitterly, before he realized something. "Wait, where's Sister?"

"Her? Oh, she and Doc are back behind-"

_Sister smiled flirtatiously at Doc, who stared at her in loving hopefulness. Both had their helmets off-_

"Fine, so long as it isn't Tucker. Otherwise I'd have to help Tex kill him, and I hate doing anything."

Grif stopped, before turning around. "Wait, Doc is the guy that was in the room at the same time her armor was off, wasn't he- I'm going to go kill him!"

He took off down the hallway, hollering, "SIS! YOU BETTER NOT BE DOING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING!"

Sisters voice drifted back, "Aw, he figured it out. See you later cutie pie."

"R-Right…"

Firing was now echoing down both ends of the hallways. Church's hand came up to his face as he took a deep breath, reminding himself to keep calm. It was completely wiped away by a "Bow-chicka-bow-wow!" that echoed down the hallways.

He would kill Tucker for saying that to Tex. And his stupid little _pet_, because Tucker _didn't give birth to anything_.

With the goal firmly in mind, Church strode down the hallway, desperately hoping that Caboose wouldn't show up to make things worse with his optimism. Oh, right, and while he was wishing that, maybe he should wish for the Master Chief to show up and say that they were all going to be part of his unit as well-

"Excuse me-" There was no mistaking that powerful, gravely voice. Only one _freaking_ person had that voice, and it certainly wasn't anyone stuck within Blood Gulch Canyon. "-but, may I ask who you are?"

"I'm Sarge, captain of the Red team of Blood Gulch Canyon. Been posted here for about five years. Nice to meet you Master Chief. Can I ask what you're doing here?"

Church rounded to corner to see Sarge and Simmons standing before the seven-foot tall legend. Well, Sarge was standing; Simmons looked more ready to faint then stay on his feet for any great length of time.

"My ship was traveling to Earth when an unexpected shockwave tore us apart from the main group, and we were attacked by the Covenant."

"Covenant? You mean these weird alien thingama-bobs?"

Master Chief stared at the red-clad Spartan looking man. He was obviously _not_ a Spartan, for he had trained with all of the Spartans, and he was certain all of them were dead. But still- "Yes. Might I ask where you got your armor?"

"This? We were thrown it moment before coming to Blood Gulch. They didn't even bother properly explaining our armor to us- did you know these things had a megaphone in them?"

"They do?" the slightly surprised inflection in Master Chiefs voice made all of them stop. "I see…"

"Hey, Sarge, Simmons, did you get all of them?" Grifs voice drifted down the hallway, as the tap-tap of approaching feet echoed loudly. "What the- Holy Crap!"

Erratic firing slammed into ears, and Sarge sighed in bliss. "Good, finally. Grif may actually die!"

"Cool, I killed the thing!"

Sarge grumbled softly, as Simmons shoulders relaxed a little. Master Chief looked from person to person, before reaching up to his helmet to contact UNSC, "UNSC, UNSC, come in, do you copy me?"

Static was the only noise in return. He sighed to himself as he looked down at the curious faceplates, each staring at him in the mixture of awe and slight deferment. "Can any of you contact UNSC through your helmet radios?"

"Uh, dude? The only guy we can contact is Vic. And Vic told _us_ he was going to be gone due to some big threat for the next few days. So, no." Grif voice answered the question as Master Chief seriously began to consider where he actually was.

"I need to know where I am."

"You're in a box canyon, named Blood Gulch Canyon…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Master Chief stared down silently at the slowly gathered men –and women- that consisted of the two teams of Blood Gulch Valley. All of them looked up at him innocently. He could hear some holes in their stories, where they obviously had glossed over some facts- but that didn't matter. What mattered was that the Covenant was destroyed, that he got out of this box canyon and back to Earth, and he didn't destroy 'Junior' while he was at it.

"Hey, don't we still need to find Donut and Caboose?"

Silently he reorganized the information into something that at least resembled a timeline compared to the fragmented and extremely odd way of them telling things. _First, they were assigned here, before they were assigned two new rookies, Donut and Caboose. There was a little scuffle over the flags, before they had a freelancer named Tex appear to help out. Someone got hurt enough to require a Doctor, which is still outside, looking after the alien 'Junior' which they had adopted from an egg. After which they transferred their tanks A.I. to a ship, and they were currently leaving orbit when we crashed._

Yes, there was information missing, no doubt vital information. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"CHURCH! CHURCH! WHERE ARE YOU MY BESTEST BEST BUDDY? CHURCH! I'M HUNGRY AND I WANT MY ORANGE JUICE!"

As one, both red and blue team members slapped their helmets palm up. A frustrated sigh broke through Church's voice filter, as he turned around. "One moment. I got to go help… what? What are all of those things… aw crap."

Tex spun, instantly chucking a grenade down the hallway. Grif ducked behind Simmons, and Simmons dove for cover behind the boxes. Sarge threw himself behind the two of them. Rapidly Master Chief realized he was the only one not behind some cover-

BOOM! The loud explosion rocked the ship, as Church cursed loudly. Master Chief slid back two paces from the force of the air, before he was distantly aware of a body flying over his head and hitting the wall with a loud clang. He turned towards the body, not noticing the white flash that hurriedly went invisible, before the body twitched, groaning.

"Tex, I swear, you really are trying to kill me-"

"Hmm, darn, it missed."

Master Chiefs' head swiveled to the female, watching her frown beneath the helmets visor. _I believe I have landed among people who are completely insane._

"Grif, I swear, if you keep smoking with my lungs, I will kill you this instant."

"What? How can you tell I'm smoking?"

"The smoke is clouding your visor."

"Aw crap." A puff of smoke arose from the orange figure, as he began to adjust himself lazily against the box. "Know-it-all suck-up."

"Lazy moron."

"Nerd."

"Hey! Mom always told me that being a nerd is just fine!"

Crazy indeed. Master Chief shook his head as he strode down the hallway firmly, not stopping to look at the bodies on either side, but on the alert for any attack. The Hallway quickly opened up to a large hole in the side of the ship, sunlight shining through into the blackened interior. Outside he could see Church and a two others, one blue, one… pink. For a confused moment he did a double take, before realizing the one in pink was actually a male.

Well, this would be interesting. Quietly he stepped behind church as he listened to the pink one babble. "-The computer that was down there is completely trashed now! There's no telling what did it! I mean, the cave systems are so big- by the way, when I see Sarge I need to talk to him about maybe drilling a couple holes in there to let the light in, it really is a very, very dark and very depressing place- we should probably see if we can't get some motivational posters…"

"Focus Donut!" Master Chief was already beginning to resign himself to odd nicknames. "Did you see what crashed the computers?"

"What? Of course not, no! I ran to you as fast as possible! …I can take back up my part of the plan again if you want."

"NO! Don't you dare! No, what I want you to go do is go feed Junior, alright?"

"Junior? Ok."

Donut trundled off happily, as Church turned to the blue clad man, looking around, muttering about orange juice and cookies. "Alright, Caboose, I want you to tell me something. When you got slammed through the ground into the cave system, what did you see?"

"Rocks. Lots of rocks. All of the ones that came down from the ceiling, you know the pointy ones? Stalagctities?"

Church took in a deep breath. Caboose miserably waited for the yelling to begin, before another voice intruded on the conversation. "Caboose, did you see anything in the caves that you have never seen before?"

"Yes? No?...Yes, I did. I saw Stagmites." Caboose nodded, and Church snapped.

"CABOOSE! Just freakin' tell me whether you saw any aliens down there!"

"Aliens? You mean like the bat people the guy in orange is always talking about?"

Church drew his gun, and to the dumb-stricken surprise of the Master Chief, began shooting at Caboose. "Caboose, just DIE!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Master Chief knew he was going to regret this. He knew it. All signs were already beginning to gather in his gut, saying odd things, like he was going to severely regret this-

Red and Blue team members, Junior, Doc, and a bomb they had insisted on bringing along with a head and a slightly repaired ship all sat in an expectant semi-circle around him. To either side were the Red and Blue base at perfectly equal distances from each other – they had spent the whole morning wrangling over that. Master Chief still shuddered to think about the amount of negotiation needed to settle the matter – and now he had a bunch of people that looked like expectant kids waiting for a good story.

Above he could feel the sun slowly begin to set, casting cool shadows across the Gulch, shading it from the heat of the sun. "Wake up Grif." The effect was completely ruined as Simmons whacked the back of the helmet, making the orange figure flail off balance. Master Chief didn't flinch, mind already filling out mental reports.

_Donut_ – a man of… questionable tastes. _Grif_- a lazy, no doubt cowardly man, but who might have a spark of hidden intelligence. _Simmons_ – a man whom really was smart, and not afraid to show it however much of a suck up way it may be. _Sarge_ – a warrior, a fighter. _Church_ – Another warrior, often angry. _Tex_ – A woman he would have no problems fighting with, any day. _Tucker_ – a very strange man, often involved in women. _Caboose_ – An idiot. _Sister_ – another idiot. _Doc_ – a man that Master Chief never wanted treating him.

And he was supposed to lead these men to combat? Lead them through whatever dangers might be coming to be able to get his way to Earth?

He was doomed to failure, but it wouldn't be the first time. "Red. Blue. I doubt you are aware of it, but I'm afraid that the war is over now. The war between Red and Blue-"

Sarge made a motion to protest, when Church elbowed him sharply, still staring up at the man. Sarge kept silent. Master Chief continued on, "-was over a long time ago. Now, it is a war against the Covenant, a war against these alien invaders who'd like to fight against us. I need to get to Earth Immediately to stop these invaders, and I'm afraid that the only way to do that would be to hike to the nearest outpost, which according to what you tell me, is a weeks hike away. I must ask of you to set aside all differences now, and help me reach my target safely, for even as we speak, enemies are undoubtedly landing."

"Look, Master Chief, I get you're doing your hardest to give us a good talk, but I have to say it's pretty low on my meter." Grif snorted. "Why should we leave our nice, safe, box canyon where we can be bored out of our minds, go tramping through who knows what?"

There was a fierce battle cry from the wall of the canyon, as all of the team looked up to see a practical army of Covenants standing on top of the cliff face, screaming at them. "You have got to be kidding me-" Grif began, before Church drew his sniper rifle.

Caboose looked around, "What is everyone staring at? What is going on? Why was that weird noise-"

Caboose broke off as Church fired, missing the Elite on the wall. "No!" He fired again. "Crap!" The trigger was pulled for a third time. "WHY?"

Grif stared up at the Covenant, before he slowly began to inch back, still sitting down. Sarge stared up, before announcing aloud, "I think I have a plan!"

"A plan, oh great, here we go again." Grif muttered under his breath, visor switching over to where Sarge stood.

"The cannon on the Tank still works even though we don't have any more shells to put into there, so I say we're going to place Grif inside of the cannon, where we'll shoot him out of it, up into the covenant where he will hopefully splatter into tiny little particles and die, while gloriously taking out one of the Elite. Wait, never mind, he splatter onto the ground _nearby_ the elite, blinding it, where I will then attack and kill it."

"Excellent plan sir!"

"Suck-up!"

Master Chiefs head buried into his hands. He had known this wasn't going to work. But at least there was some hope- "Simmons, get back to base and pack us each a suitcase for when we go up on top to go kick some alien butt. Except for Grifs. Grif won't need a suitcase. He'll be shot up there."

Church began attempting to bring some rationality. "Tucker, you get back to base, start packing food and ammo. We're accompanying Master Chief back to base where we'll make sure he gets to Earth."

"Hah! Go ahead and retreat sucky Blues! We'll take over this canyon then!"

"No, you'll have to fight the Covenant. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather live then fight an entire army of them with the group we have now."

Simmons nodded. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm going have to agree-"

"Shut up Simmons!" Sarge sniffled slightly. "And here I thought you were a man after my own heart. Someone I could actually trust-"

"You can insult me you know." Grif said lazily.

Master Chiefs stomach fell once more. He was doomed to certain destruction. They would be lucky to get out of this base. Sheila's voice broke over the fight. "Excuse me, but if Sarge would mind installing me back into my tank form, I could pack for you all-"

"No thanks," was the quick reply from everyone, "last time you packed you just gave us filters and some oil. No thanks."

"Lopez, you know how to pack, right?" Sarge didn't bother waiting for a reply from the head. "Good, go with Sheila, and get her to help pack."

"Hey!" Master Chief nearly jumped as the bomb spoke. "Don't I get to blow up anything?"

"Only if you want to get left behind… actually, that might not be a bad idea. If we leave you behind, would you kindly blow yourself up and kill those guys up there?"

"Hey, give me the word, and I can blow up this whole entire stupid canyon."

"All those who vote to bury him here, and let him blow up the canyon, say aye!"

"AYE!" More then eight voices practically shook the canyon floor in the affirmative.

The bomb instantly began complaining. "No way are you leaving me behind. Here I am, I get to be with the Master Chief. It's sure to make my cousins and brothers explode with envy! I'm coming with you, and I'll act as your translator. You can't understand Lopez without me anyways."

"Esperaba realmente que usted me dejara atrás. Realmente. Déjeme atrás. Yo no tengo inconveniente en. Puedo construirme un nuevo cuerpo mientras su lejos." (Translation: I was really hoping that you'd leave me behind. Really. Leave me behind. I don't mind. I can build myself a new body while your away.)

"Aww, Lopez, you want to come along too? That's so good of you. I'll bring along enough spare parts so we can work on getting your body repaired right away."


End file.
